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Showing posts from May, 2018

YOU ARE WHAT YOU ATTRACT

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I was chatting with a friend lately and were talking about our "single status" and how every man that came along fell below our expectation. Then I sat back and asked myself what exactly the problem was. Was I being too selective and full of unrealistic expectations or was i just unlucky? After much pondering, I still wasn't able to come to a conclusion on what exactly the problem was. Later that day, I shared this issue with another friend and she simply asked a question; are you the kind of person you are looking for? I couldn't give a definite answer and this left me rather worried. I couldn't say I was below my expectations because I was well educated and enlightened, purposeful, focused and my life was going in the right direction. But then I couldn't say I was up to my expectation because I still had some nagging personal weaknesses to deal with. Just then, I remembered a gathering were the speaker stated that the beauty of a relationship is the ability

EXCHANGE THE HATRED

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I was once staring at someone that hurt me badly recently with so much hatred and spite, trying to figure out the best way to get back at her. Just then a quiet voice whispered so silently: "Exchange the hatred with love" At that point, it felt more easier to love the devil cause I really hated this person but then I realized deep down there was still a chance that I could love her as much as I hated her. Over the time I've come to understand that love is indeed a virtue and its something deeper than we can actually comprehend. For me, to love is actually one of the most difficult things I've had to do especially when it comes to loving people that seem so unlovable. But one thing I've also come to realise is that love is one of the sweetest and most tender feelings that gives this strange peace of mind once you are able to let it penetrate that heart made of rock and iron. The truth is love itself solves a whole lot of problems, it conquers anger, bitterness and

PLUS-SIZED OR NOT

I’m size 14, I get teased. I can still remember a week when I got a marathon blast. On Sunday, I greeted a church member and he called me “two in one” and everyone around laughed. I think he just doesn’t know how to talk. On Monday, I forgot to use the trafficator while making a U-turn and an angry motorist called me “an over-bloated bitch”. I guess he was just a demon sent to spoil my day. On Tuesday, I temporarily misplaced a file and my boss called me “a disorganized orobo”. I felt flinging a resignation letter at his face. On Wednesday, it was double- blasting. In the morning, my ill-mouthed elder sister called me “an unhealthy disgraceful thing”. She probably just woke up at the wrong side of the bed and I couldn’t reply her because she was my “elder sister” but in my mind I wished I could just punch her leper face. That was not all, in the evening that same day, I took a stroll wearing a bubu gown with three of my cousins who came visiting. A lady I supposed was my age mate pas

DON’T BE A NAG

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I broke up with my ex-boyfriend some months back not because he wasn’t caring or faithful, but the guy was a “nag of the century”. It got so bad that we hardly had a conversation without him nagging or complaining about something and at a point, I just knew I couldn’t put up any longer so I broke up with him. But shortly after the breakup, I began to ask myself if the issue of nagging was enough reason for me to kill a six months relationship with a guy who was emotionally attached to me. But while discussing with a number of friends and acquaintances most of them revealed that they also have had their fair share of unsuccessful relationships due to the fact that the other person “nags a lot”. Nagging in my own opinion is an irritating persistence in insisting that someone does something he or she is reluctant or unwilling to do. To say the truth, everyone or almost everyone nags once in a while due to frustration or just due to the “heat of the moment”. But when an individual does thi

A ONE NIGHT STAND

I was drunk, I'm sure I was. At least that's the only explanation I can give myself. It's been three weeks and I'm still trying to get over that night, I can't even stand myself. My mind kills me for every time I called other girls whores in the past but I never thought it would happen to me. I wish to be shot right at the head. I was sitting at the bar in a club that night, I don't even know how I got there in the first place. I kept staring at the glass of wine I ordered. In it, I saw life laughing at me. "Damn life" I gupped the harsh wine to the last drop and ordered a refill. "They say wine helps" I belched as I signaled a refill for the seventh time. I didn't know when tears clouded my eyes and began to drop. First, Dapo walked out on me because I refused to sleep with him. He never called or visited since then. I cried my eyes out that day, I never for a second thought he would throw my love away. I still haven't gotten over it

BEHIND THE SCENE

Ella, a close friend of mine has been dating this "Mr. Perfect" for a while now. I call him "Mr. Perfect" because he seems to be everything a woman would die for and more. He is handsome, caring, smart, respectful,wealthy, ambitious, hardworking, you just name it. He has an amazing personality and is a good definition of an "all in one". But, there is a defect in this "Mr Perfect"; he has major health issues. He has been battling with what I call "chronic asthma". His condition was so bad that he experienced frequent attacks that came nearly every three days. His inhaler had become a perpetual companion and there were times when his inhaler couldn't help him. Ella once confided in me and told me of two occasions when he nearly gave up the ghost if not for the timely intervention of doctors. But last week, Ella came around flaunting an engagement ring singing praises of her man and about how "perfect" he was. She seemed to

LEAVE THE TREASURE BEHIND

A wise man once said “the graveyard is full of treasures”. When asked what he meant, he said “When I step into a graveyard, I see books that were never written, inventions that were never created, I hear songs that were never sang, words, speeches and ideas that never materialized, all perished with the owners” These words struck me and made me realize how much treasures are stuck in the grave simply because their owners or would I say possessors failed to “leave them behind”. I began to imagine what the world would have been like if everyone emptied all treasures inside them before they departed. It became a serious food for thought for me. I began to ask and search myself for every treasure I had buried within and I discovered I was pregnant; pregnant with a lot of potentials. I saw amazing things that only I could see and then I asked myself: “WHEN WILL THE WORLD SEE IT TOO?” These thoughts have lingered in me so I’ve decided to share it. The truth is every gift and every treasure i

NOT EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE YOU

Last week I went to visit Joe, a cousin of mine for a sleep over but she seemed too busy to have my time. She was trying to make a birthday ankara-gown for a friend who had specially requested for it. “I’m too broke to buy her a good gift, so I need to make the dress as lovely as it can be if that’s all I can give so I need no distraction”, said Joe Therefore, I had no choice but to sit and watch her work. I really admired the effort and concentration she put into making the dress and it all paid off as the dress turned out to be so lovely “You would make another one for me o”, I said as I held the dress up. She just smiled and grabbed the dress from my hands, she still needed to steam it. she wanted it to look as perfect as possible. The next day, the birthday girl arrived. I saw the happy and satisfied look on Joe’s face as she showed her friend the “dream gown”. I and Joe were expecting an excited compliment but it was the other way round. “What happened to the collar now, this was

BEING PARANOID

Growing up, I had a paranoid mind. I was scared of everyone and found it difficult to trust people, even my loved ones. I was scared whenever I was alone with the opposite sex; I always thought they intended to rape me. I was always scared of talking to strangers; I assumed they were all ritual killers. I was scared of darkness, “for the night is dark and full of terrors”. I was scared of sleeping alone, I thought demons come in the night to kill people in their sleep; hence I needed a “defender”. I was always very reluctant to borrow out the very little money I had back then, I had the mindset that the person would never pay back even though the money was so little. I was scared of traveling because I always thought of the possibility of having an accident or being attacked by robbers. I was scared of eating other people’s food or picking money on the ground, I didn’t want to turn into a yam. Believe me; I can go on and on and on. These were fears a lot of us had as children but event

EVERY MAN GOT HIS OWN TIME

It really made her feel bad and jealous in a way. She tried to get rid of all the sad disturbing thoughts but they just kept coming; she couldn’t help it. Every girl in her “gang” had walked down the aisle except herself and Bukky but just yesterday, Bukky came flaunting her wedding invite. Now she would soon be the one “singular” among her friends. It wasn’t easy getting rid of the depressing thought of not having a “legit” boyfriend not to talk of a fiancĂ© or husband. To worsen issues, some of her “married” friends had began to drift from her; maybe they were trying to adhered to the “principle” that once you get married, your friends should change (apparently from single to married friends). Gradually, this issue began to lower her self-esteem; she began to feel like a “last one” in everything. She recalled the period of “admission hustle” were everyone of her friends got admitted into school except her. So while they were in school, she had to deal with the frustrating of repeatin