Welcome To Temituope's Diary

Recently, an acquaintance complained bitterly of how an age-long close friend of his refused to offer him financial assistance when he knew he badly needed it. "I expected better from him", he kept saying. He went on ranting about how all his close friends were "fair weather friends" who could never be counted on. He failed to realize however that they actually don't owe him anything. Often we get disappointed and begin to rant about certain people we "expected so much from". We then see them as fake friends who have little or no concern for our need. But we fail to realize that we are the ones who keep setting ourselves up for disappointment and possible frustration because we have a ridiculously high sense of entitlement. But the truth is, nobody owes you anything. We are all imperfect human beings with both personal and external challenges and different people react differently to external or "extra" burdens. Some take such burdens as the...

Her hands were so cold. Tears kept rolling down as I recalled the days when they were warm. I remembered how those hands used to curdle me as a boy. Now it's just a piece of flesh. My mind flashed back to the last time I held those hands and felt the warmth. That was three years ago when I last spared time to visit. Her grey hair had increased, her skin was wrinkled and her sight had deemed. With a stammering voice she asked: "When will I see you again?" "Soon mama, soon" I replied "How soon? I wouldn't be here forever"  Those where her last words to me as I rushed away, I had work to do. But now I wished I had taken those words more seriously. I worked in a bank and I was at the top of my game at reaching the peak of my career. Four years consecutively, I had received the award of the most dedicated and resourceful staff in my bank; I had never been so proud. But all that doesn't matter anymore. Staring at my mother and caressing her han...

Here I am sitting on the floor, soaked in my tears and drowned by devastation. Everything seems worthless if we can save the world but fail the very people that mean the world to us. My name is Ada and I'm a journalist, a lawyer. Most importantly a women's right advocate and therein lies the problem, I limited my advocacy to women because I thought they were always the victims but I was so wrong. For starters, I lost my mum at a very young age to domestic violence. My dad beat her like he never loved her, to the point that I was convinced that he enjoyed it. I still can remember times that he dealt with her so brutally that I and my elder brother begged her to run away. The few times she did, my dad and his family always came begging with the usual lie of a promise that he was changed. So my mum always went back "for our sake" till he eventually murdered her right before my very eyes. It was the most traumatic experience I ever had. My dad was arrested and eventuall...

My name is Morenike. Sitting here frustrated, I stare at my whole life and the grevious mistakes I've made. It all started in my 100 level days shortly after I gained admission into the prestigious Babcock University. Just like every other person, I was so excited to be an "undergraduate", I was full of so much energy and expectations. Like most freshers, I was a novice who knew very little about life and had no strong values or belief system in place, no solid moral foundation; so it didn't take long before I was blown away by the wind and enticement of university life. In my first year, I had three roommates, Tola, Esther and Dolapo, they were all in their final year so I natural looked up to them both for advice and guidance because I thought they knew best but I was so wrong. About two weeks after resumption, i met two girls who invited me to church on Sunday. As much as this girls sounded so convincing, it just didn't make sense to me. I mean, We were alrea...

......... continued Emeka had been found unconscious in an hotel room and had been rushed to the hospital. Apparently, he had been drugged and robbed by the prostitute he had slept with.  Kudirat fell to the floor in tears and confusion. It took her about two minutes to put herself together and reach for her car-keys. At the hospital, she was welcomed with a more shocking news. Emeka had been diagnosed of Cirrhosis  of the liver. His liver had been badly damaged by excessive drinking that the doctor recommended a liver transplant to save his life. The surgery would require him travelling to India that the entire cost was running into fifteen million naira and Kudirat had no idea how she was going to raise that huge amount of money within a short time considering her present financial predicament. So many thoughts swept through her mind. She thought of informing Emeka family about his situation but she was scared of them. She had confided in her pastor, he encouraged h...

Kudirat staggered as she saw another devastating bank alert, this man was about to ruin her. He had just yanked another hundred thousand naira from her account. That was the second time that week. When she confronted him the first time, He came up with his usual business related excuses but she knew he was lying and began an argument which escalated into a bitter quarrel. As he result he left the house that day without a word of were he was going to and didn't come back until the evening of the following day. She knew this whole marriage to Emeka was a mistake but didn't want to admit it to herself or anyone. She was married to a loser who kept going from one business venture to another and failing at each endeavor, squandering her money in the process. He was a graduate of economics but refused to take up any paid job as he insisted that he didn't want to work for anyone. Thrice, Kudirat had secured well-paid jobs for him, the first one with the oil company she worked for...

Recently, a wealthy business man in my town died and to my surprise, a lot of people felt no sympathy for him or his family talk less of mourning him. The reason was not far-fetched, he lived a selfish, unsympathetic and money-driven life which made him step on many toes during his life time thereby gathering numerous haters for himself. To be honest, I had never heard people talk so badly about a deceased person as they did of this man and it got me rather disturbed. It done on me that money and fame is really profitless if you fail to impact and put smiles on the faces around you. Of course you can never please everybody but the importance of giving back to the society cannot be over-emphasized. Remember your wealth was accumulated from the society so I'm of the opinion that it's rather unfair and in fact illogical for you to refuse to give back to it in the nearest future. The truth is by giving back, you become more fulfilled and at the same time the society is made happy...

 ........ Continued "He is nowhere to be found" replied Daniel's mother. My mother fell helplessly to the ground again. She rained curses on him, his family and generation but none of that made us feel better. I and my mother cried throughout that day and no one succeeded in calming us down and we still cry in our hearts up till this day because our wounds never healed. Eventually, I hard to undergo a vaginal surgery to repair the damaged organ but it didn't repair my spirit.  My rapist was later traced by the police but was shot dead while trying to escape arrest. Still, none of that made me feel better It's been 26 years now but I still can't bring myself to even lie on the same bed with the opposite sex not to talk of having sex with them. That's why I'm still single. I've a master's degree in Economics and a well paid job but I'm still miserable. I do contemplate suicide sometimes but the endless sorrow it will cause my aging moth...

....... continued One day He caught me and Daniel stealing out of the the orange juice that was reserved for Daniel's father. He scolded the both of us and then called me aside and threatened to tell my mother as soon as she got back home. I knew what this meant; my mum had zero tolerance for stealing so she was going to beat the living hell out of me and ban me from going to Daniel's flat.I began pleading with him immediately and after much pleading, he asked me to come the next day for my punishment; little did I know what was about to befall me.  I came the next day by 10am just as he had asked me to. My mum had gone to work while Daniel and his mum had gone for a burial so it was just the both of us left in the compound.  On my arrival, he led me into his room. He then told me that he had issues with his d*ck and a doctor had advised him to get a little girl to massage his dick with her mouth and pussy. I was confused; I hadn't received any sex education, all my mo...

It was a cheap blackmail. I still feel cold and bitter whenever I remember that traumatizing experience.  It wish I could resurrect him from his grave and give him all the slap and bites and beating I could. Just maybe it will make me feel better. I was 7 years old, just 7 years old. I wish I had known better.  My mum was a disciplinarian, a "do-as-I-say" freak. My dad was long gone; I never even got a chance to see what he looked like. I remember suitors coming to my mum but she chose to remain a faithful wife to a dead man. God knows I needed a dad at that time and in tears, I still wish I had one. I had no siblings, so I made friends with Daniel, our next door neighbour's only child. For some weird reasons, I always got more attracted to the opposite sex; I always preferred their company to that of my fellow girls. So when Daniel and his parents moved in, we immediately developed this chemistry as children plus his mum loved me especially because I had a striking resem...

Tears rolled down his eyes as he heard the cry of his twins. It was their one year birthday and it was supposed to be a happy day for him. But alas! it was the other way round; it was the one year anniversary of her death! What made his heart bleed the most was the fact that her death could have been averted but for the negligence of those "dumbas*" doctors. After letting her die, they made haste to save the twins thinking that would make him feel better, thinking it will cure the hurt. Now all he has left is his broken hearted miserable self and a set of baby girls whose cries serve as a constant reminder of her death. It was all still fresh in his mind like it happened yesterday. Her screams on their way to the hospital, her lifeless as it was yanked off to the mortuary. He had never loved any woman like Rebecca. After series of failed relationships and he was almost giving up on finding "the one". Then he met Rebecca at his usual "hangout" club. He coul...

Some time ago, I came across an "oyibo" lady who was on a first time visit to Nigeria. We got talking and she complained about the unfriendly behaviour of Nigerian women. According to her, "when you say hello to them, they look at you from head to toe as if you have so much dirt on your body". I just kept smiling as she narrated her confusion; her experience was very relatable. Many times, you step into a party or a banking hall or even a church looking so dressed up and "expensive" and next, you notice some "cat-eyes" staring and analysing you from head to toe till their eyes fall from their sockets. At first I used to feel embarrassed and nervous about such occurrences but as it happened more frequently I came to the conclusion that it was just one of those repulsive behaviours exhibited by many women nowadays which is born out of envy and unhappiness. But I still wonder why they find it difficult to just walk up to you and complement your outf...

Tears rolled down her eyes as she stared at the breeze. She had just been fired! Her rent was about to expire and she couldn't afford to pay for another year. She didn't know how to break the news to her parents who had relied on the monthly allowance she sent them; that would soon be history. More tears dropped down her eyes. What broke her heart mostly was his betrayal. She literally became his sex toy just to keep her job but he fired her all the same. She lost her boyfriend because of him now she was about to lose her sanity. That was the point she wished she could take back the hand of time; she wished she had never taken that job in the first place, it was a decision made out of greed. Just then, her phone rang. It was Mr Bello, a married man who desperately wanted to get in between her laps. She picked his call for the first time in a long time; he was her last option. At least he could give her money to pay her rent. More tears dropped from her eyes as she agreed to a ...

I was at a child dedication last Sunday and in front of us were two lovely bundles of joy. In times like that, I wished to be a mother of twins someday. But that wish was reversed when the mother uttered a statement. "Be careful what you wish for though" She complained about not having enough sleep and being stress out by the girls. So it was more like a stressful-sweet experience. It made me realize how much we humans are quick to wish for things without even taking time to think of what comes with this wishes. We wish for certain expensive cars but we never really think about the fuel consumption and general maintenance cost to see if it rhythms with our pockets. I remember when I was still in high school. I always prayed to study law without even considering the academic workload and its high grading standards. Now I'm in it and there's no turning back. Even something as minor as hair transitioning. I've met quite a number of women who regret chopping off their...

In the brilliant words of Honorable Justice Nikki Tobi of the Supreme Court of Nigeria: “English is English, Nigeria is Nigeria. The English are English. So also the Nigerians are Nigerians. Theirs are theirs, ours are ours. Theirs are not ours, ours are not theirs. We cannot therefore continue to ‘enjoy this borrowing spree’ or merry frolic at the detriment of our legal system. We cannot continue to pay loyalty to our colonial past with such servility or servitude. After all, we are no more in slavery” These words got to me and it brought my mind to the fact that we have this “borrowing culture”. It brought my mind to the fact that most of our laws, including local statues, are only a replica of “the English”. While I kept meditating on this disturbing thought, I realized that this “copy and paste” attitude is not peculiar to our legal system alone; Nigerians seem to generally love “copying”. Have you ever wonder why most organizations,both governmental and non-governmental, require t...

I realized Temituope's Diary had already clocked a year already and I was like; "wow, time really flies". I can still remember when I started the blog, the encouragement I got from people and the negativity I got from "haters"; it all seems like yesterday. I would say that this past one year of blogging has been more to my advantage. It has improve my communication skills, it has made me a better thinker, it has improved my self-awareness, it has boosted my self-esteem and finally, it has earned me more respect and expectations from people. However, one thing I've observed is that a whole lot of people out there don't like reading. To say it in another way; a lot of people out there are lazy when it comes to reading especially when it comes to reading stuff that are not academic or politically related and are not based on contemporary stuffs that easily attract attention. If a post doesn't relate directly to any of these, there is a high tendency tha...

I grew up being that kind of person that always kept a "straight face" and that gave people the impression that I was not approachable. It scared a lot of people away from me and made me lose a whole of people that would have been amazing friends. I didn't really have a reason for the "straight face". At first I thought I was doing it to avoid taken for granted but later I concluded that it was just me being me. This "straightface" continued until one day, my mum stared and at me and asked: "Do you know how ugly and unattractive you look when you frown?" Those words hit me on the face and for the first time I realised that this "straight-face" I carried the whole time wasn't exactly the best. A few days later, i discussed this issue with a friend and she told me a lot of people had said a lot of "nice" things about me. Some said was unapproachable and so full of myself, some said I look like someone carrying the entire...

I was chatting with a friend lately and were talking about our "single status" and how every man that came along fell below our expectation. Then I sat back and asked myself what exactly the problem was. Was I being too selective and full of unrealistic expectations or was i just unlucky? After much pondering, I still wasn't able to come to a conclusion on what exactly the problem was. Later that day, I shared this issue with another friend and she simply asked a question; are you the kind of person you are looking for? I couldn't give a definite answer and this left me rather worried. I couldn't say I was below my expectations because I was well educated and enlightened, purposeful, focused and my life was going in the right direction. But then I couldn't say I was up to my expectation because I still had some nagging personal weaknesses to deal with. Just then, I remembered a gathering were the speaker stated that the beauty of a relationship is the ability ...

I was once staring at someone that hurt me badly recently with so much hatred and spite, trying to figure out the best way to get back at her. Just then a quiet voice whispered so silently: "Exchange the hatred with love" At that point, it felt more easier to love the devil cause I really hated this person but then I realized deep down there was still a chance that I could love her as much as I hated her. Over the time I've come to understand that love is indeed a virtue and its something deeper than we can actually comprehend. For me, to love is actually one of the most difficult things I've had to do especially when it comes to loving people that seem so unlovable. But one thing I've also come to realise is that love is one of the sweetest and most tender feelings that gives this strange peace of mind once you are able to let it penetrate that heart made of rock and iron. The truth is love itself solves a whole lot of problems, it conquers anger, bitterness and ...

I’m size 14, I get teased. I can still remember a week when I got a marathon blast. On Sunday, I greeted a church member and he called me “two in one” and everyone around laughed. I think he just doesn’t know how to talk. On Monday, I forgot to use the trafficator while making a U-turn and an angry motorist called me “an over-bloated bitch”. I guess he was just a demon sent to spoil my day. On Tuesday, I temporarily misplaced a file and my boss called me “a disorganized orobo”. I felt flinging a resignation letter at his face. On Wednesday, it was double- blasting. In the morning, my ill-mouthed elder sister called me “an unhealthy disgraceful thing”. She probably just woke up at the wrong side of the bed and I couldn’t reply her because she was my “elder sister” but in my mind I wished I could just punch her leper face. That was not all, in the evening that same day, I took a stroll wearing a bubu gown with three of my cousins who came visiting. A lady I supposed was my age mate pas...